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Dori Szabo: Fly To Paris Fashion AT FORTY FIVE Magazine Issue 2021 16

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The magazine for women 45+ who want to own aging with spirit and joy. For those of us rediscovering who we are and exploring what we want next. And we want more; health, wealth, happiness, and fulfillment.

was exhausting—it left

was exhausting—it left me feeling helpless and disconnected from my sense of self. It is through the lens of fear and judgment that we make decisions to go with the crowd, follow like a herd of sheep, not rock the boat, lie low, play small, be accepted, and fit in a box that doesn’t stand out from the rest. We are taught to try and fit in. But, we are not meant to fit in. We are meant to stand out. If we were meant to be carbon copies of each other, we wouldn’t have been born with our unique features, gifts, talents, and personalities. The perspective we choose and the lens we use to see life will determine what we see. Snowflakes are a great example. When we look at the snow falling from the sky, we see snowflakes. From a distance, they all look the same. But when we zoom in and take a closer look, we can see that each snowflake is unique. No two snowflakes are the same. Each snowflake has unique characteristics. As a child, I was fascinated by that. Depending on your perspective, the snowflakes look the same or completely different. You can say the same thing about the leaves on a tree. When we take a closer look, each one has a uniqueness that is sometimes subtle and at other times more obvious. Now I am not saying all of this to make us feel separate from each other, but to emphasize that we each have a unique role to play here on this Earth at this time. We are all connected at the core of who we are and at the same time we are meant to stand out and share our unique 28

gifts with the world. As long as we are trying to be like everyone else, we will always feel inadequate and find evidence of how we are not enough. When we are trying to fit into a box that someone else built and live up to the standards that others have set, we will always fall short; we will never fit in; we will always feel like we don’t belong. This creates a fundamental experience of separation. The good news is that when we stand up, own our uniqueness by being fully authentic, we each play an essential role in the healing of the whole. Every single one of us has an essential part to play. When we watch a movie, we can see how each character adds value and depth to the overall script. If everyone were playing the same character, the movie would be a bust. Some of us have a small role and some have a bigger role to play, but each role is essential. One person’s version of playing small may be another person’s version of playing big. It is not about comparing ourselves with others. Comparison is a game of judgment that makes us feel inadequate no When we shift from the fear of comparison to the energy of cooperation, we shift into being a contribution to all of humanity. matter what we are doing or not doing. By comparing ourselves, we will collect enough evidence to convince ourselves that we will never be, do, or have enough. Comparison always crushes creativity, insight, and intuition. When we shift from the fear of comparison to the energy of cooperation, we shift into being a contribution to all of humanity. We honor the role each of us has to play and we are willing to contribute to the whole by playing our role fully, wholly, and completely. We return to love and 29

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