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Age Doesn't Define Who You Can Be AT FORTY FIVE Magazine Issue 2021 14

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The magazine for women 45+ who want to own aging with spirit and joy. For those of us rediscovering who we are and exploring what we want next. And we want more; health, wealth, happiness, and fulfillment.

When we ask for help, we

When we ask for help, we have a choice to open our hearts to receive love from others. It is a choice to fill our hearts. The key is to fill our hearts enough that we can give from the overflow and never experience the feeling of depletion or self-sacrifice. We are no help to anyone when we feel empty and depleted. Asking for help allows us to sustain our own energy and at the same time creates a connection with others. you can receive. As I share in this story, the gift we receive back can often be disguised as an opportunity to heal our leftovers and our past hurts. Asking for help is an act of courage and so is being open to receiving. For many, giving comes at a sacrifice to self, because there is an imbalance between giving to others and giving to self. Many of us find it easy to give but much harder to receive. We often judge ourselves as unworthy, undeserving, and/or not important; we are programmed to believe that receiving is being selfish. For most people, our hearts are wide open to giving but closed to receiving. How do we change that? We pay attention to the conversation in our heads so that we can challenge our programmed thoughts and the judgments that rise up. We can make a choice to be more open to receiving throughout the day. If someone compliments you, soften your heart and say “thank you.” If someone holds a door open for you, receive the gift of a kind gesture with a simple “thank you.” Don’t just say the words, feel the gratitude in your heart, and let it warm you from the inside. If someone smiles at you, let it land in your heart as you smile back. If someone gives you a hug, hug 12

AT FORTY FIVE them back with a soft open heart. It sounds easy, but it will not be easy in the beginning. As you practice, it will become more familiar and eventually more natural. We are each worthy of love. We each deserve to receive the gifts that life holds for us. We each matter. Every one of us plays an essential role in this world. Yes, every single one of us. We each have a unique gift in our hearts to extend. When we open our hearts to receive, we are giving a gift to all of humanity. Maya Angelou wrote, “You can’t give from an empty cup.” I like to teach “We can’t give from an empty heart.” One of the principles I teach in my book Heart Led Living ~ When Hard Work Becomes Heart Work is “Fill Your Heart First.” When we ask for help, we have a choice to open our hearts to receive love from others. It is a choice to fill our hearts. The key is to fill our hearts enough that we can give from the overflow and never experience the feeling of depletion or self-sacrifice. We are no help to anyone when we feel empty and depleted. Asking for help allows us to sustain our own energy and at the same time creates a connection with others. Yes, it takes courage. Yes, it may feel unnatural but only at first. I assure you it is the most natural thing once you get past the old programming in your mind. Go ahead—ask for help. All it takes is twenty seconds of courage. Take a deep breath, gather your courage, and take the leap. Stay tuned next week for chapter 10 ~ What Image Are You Upholding? ***This is an excerpt from Sue Dumais’ book “Stand UP Stand OUT Stand STRONG ~ A 30 Day Guide to Navigate Life When the SHIFT Hits the Fan” Published on atfortyfive.com with permission from © Sue Dumais 13

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